The Dos and Don'ts of Getting Your Ex Back

The Importance of Space After a Breakup

It's the moment no one wants to experience, the moment your heart shatters and your world comes crashing down. Your ex, the person you thought you would spend forever with, has just ended things and you're left feeling lost and alone. Your mind races with thoughts of how to fix this, how to make them change their mind and come back to you.

You know you need to say something, anything to make them stay. You try to articulate your feelings, but the words seem to get stuck in your throat.

Please, just give me another chance,

you plead, tears streaming down your face. But the person across from you just looks at you with an expression of detachment, their eyes cold and unresponsive.

You try a different approach, promising to change, to do better, to be the person they want you to be. But it's all for naught. They shake their head, and you can see the finality in their eyes. Your relationship is over.

I have to go,

they say, and walk away, leaving you standing there, tears still flowing, feeling like your world has ended.

It's a moment that can leave you feeling like you'll never recover, like the love you shared was all for nothing. But the truth is, there is a way to regain their attention, to make them miss you and want to come back to you. The key is to understand that when someone breaks up with you, their emotional attraction to you has fallen. And it's this emotional attraction that needs to be reignited if you want them back.

It may be hard to hear, but the only way to do this is to give them space. You have to back away and let them miss you. The temptation may be to reach out, to call or text, to try and see them in person, but that's exactly what you shouldn't do. It's only in your absence that they will have the ability to see that they don't want the breakup. It's only when you give them the breakup, that they can see that they in fact, don't want it.

But how can I just walk away and leave them be?

you may be thinking.

Won't they forget about me and move on?

The answer is no, not if you've truly made an impact on their life. The love you shared was real, and it's not something that can be easily forgotten. By giving them space, you're allowing them to miss you, to think about you, and to realize that they still have feelings for you.

The Benefits of The No Contact Rule

It may be difficult, but it's important to apply the no contact rule. This means not reaching out to them, not trying to see them, and not trying to make them feel guilty. It's only in your absence that they will have the ability to see that they want you back in their life. And it's only in your absence that you'll be able to move on and find happiness, whether that's with them or someone else.

It's a difficult and painful process, but if you truly want them back, it's worth it in the end. Give them space, let them miss you, and watch as they come back to you, ready to reignite the love you shared.

The Ineffectiveness of Desperate Measures

But it's not just about giving them space, it's also about how you present yourself during that time apart. While you shouldn't reach out, call, or plead for their forgiveness, you also shouldn't become cold and cruel. It may be tempting to lash out at them, to make them feel guilty for hurting you, but it's important to remember that this will only push them further away.

Being cruel or vengeful may give you temporary satisfaction, but it won't help you in the long run. It will only solidify their decision to end things and make it that much harder for you to get them back. Instead, it's important to be the bigger person and to take the high road. Show them that you're strong, that you can handle this and that you're moving on with your life.

The Consequences of Inciting Jealousy

Another thing that many people do after a breakup is try to incite jealousy. They believe that if they start dating someone else, post pictures of it on social media and make it obvious to their ex, they will become jealous and want them back. But this approach is misguided and can actually have the opposite effect.

Not only will it make you come across as desperate and petty, but it can also make your ex feel like you've moved on too quickly and that you didn't care about them as much as you claimed. It's important to remember that breakups are emotional and can take time to heal. Trying to make your ex jealous will only cause more pain and make it that much harder to reconcile.

Instead of trying to make them jealous, focus on yourself. Take this time to work on yourself and become the best version of you. This will not only make you a happier person, but it will also make you more attractive to your ex when you do reconnect. Show them that you're moving on and growing, and they'll be more likely to want to be a part of your new and improved life.

There Are No Guarantees

It's also important to remember that if your ex does come back, it's not a guarantee that things will work out. It's essential to have a conversation about what went wrong and what needs to be changed before jumping back into a relationship. If they're not willing to work on the issues, it's better to move on and find someone who will value and appreciate you.

Giving them space, not becoming cold or cruel, and not trying to incite jealousy are important steps to take after a breakup if you want your ex back. It's not going to be easy, but it's important to remember that true love is worth fighting for. If they're the one for you, they'll come back. And if they don't, it's better to find out now than waste your time and energy on someone who isn't willing to make it work.

The Dangers of Holding Onto Resentment

The temptation to blame your ex for the failure of the relationship and to make them feel guilty for the pain they've caused you can be overwhelming. But this approach will only push them further away and lower the chances of them wanting to get back together. Instead, it's important to take responsibility for your own actions and have a mature conversation about what went wrong and what needs to change in the future.

The Importance of Healing

However, even if they're not willing to take responsibility or work on the issues, it's important to let go and not hold onto resentment and blame. It's important to understand that holding onto those negative feelings will only hold you back from healing and finding true happiness.

The Key to Reigniting Emotional Attraction

It's crucial to remember that the emotional attraction towards you has fallen, and the best way to reignite it is to give them space and let them miss you. The indefinite no contact rule is the key in this situation, by not reaching out, not trying to see them, and not trying to make them feel guilty, you are allowing them to miss you and realize that they want you back in their life. This way, even if you don't succeed in getting your ex back, you are still giving yourself the chance to heal and move forward.