The Art of Pretending

Signs Your Ex Is Pretending to be Over You

Are you struggling with the uncertainty of whether your ex has truly moved on or if they're just pretending? It can be a confusing and emotional rollercoaster trying to decipher their actions. But, it's important to remember that sometimes the people we love have to go through a process of understanding their feelings before they can fully move on. And, the No Contact Rule can be an effective tool in making your ex realize your value and potentially want you back. But, before you make a move, it's crucial to understand the signs that your ex may be pretending to be over you. In this article, we'll guide you through the common signs and help you decipher the truth about your ex's feelings. So, let's get started.

1. Faking Happiness: When Your Ex Pretends to Be Doing Well

Are you constantly hearing from your ex about how great they're doing? Are they going out of their way to post memes about joy or upload pictures of their new "happy" life on social media? It may seem like they've moved on, but the truth is, they might just be putting on a brave face. If things are too good to be true, they usually are and your ex may try to compensate for their actual feelings.

But deep down they might be struggling with the same emotions as you. They may be trying to make you feel bad or jealous, by pretending to be over the relationship and living their best life without you.

Liva Jankaite

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It's important to be aware of these signs, but also remember that your ex may not act immediately to try and get back together. In these instances, it pays off to be patient and let things unfold naturally. If your ex truly wants to be with you, they will make a move. People who want to be with you, will make it known and be with you.

2. The Jealousy Game: How Your Ex Tries to Make You Feel

It's not uncommon for an ex to try and make you jealous, especially if you still see each other often. Maybe you work together, own a home together, have children together, or run a business together. In these situations, the rules of No Contact are somewhat different, so it's important to be aware of that. But, one of the most obvious signs that your ex is pretending to be over you is if they're actively trying to make you jealous.

Hey, did you see that picture of John and your ex on Facebook? What's going on?,

a mutual friend of you might ask you.

Maybe they flirt with someone at a party, and you can see them cutting their eyes at you to see if you're watching. Or, they post pictures of themselves on a "date" with someone else (or at least they want you to think it's a date). They might even post love songs on social media. There are all kinds of ways your ex could try to make you feel jealous, but the key is that they want you to worry that they're involved with and interested in someone else.

Making someone jealous is not a smart move when trying to win back your ex. Not only does it come across as petty and immature, but it can also push them further away. So, if you thought you'd just do the same to them, refrain from it. Your ex may assume that you're truly over the relationship and decide to move on themselves, even if they were initially open to reconciliation. Instead of playing games, focus on self-improvement and working through the issues that led to the breakup. An honest and mature approach will demonstrate your genuine interest in making things work.

3. Keeping in Touch: The Fine Line Between Staying Connected and Stalking

Is your ex still trying to stay in contact with you? Are they reaching out through text, phone calls, or social media? It may seem like a good sign that they want to reconnect, but is it really?

It's important to understand that when an ex stays in contact, they may be trying to probe if they are losing you. They may be looking for an ego boost, especially if they sense that you are moving on too quickly. This can be hurtful for them. They may also not tell you how they are doing unless you specifically ask them.

It's crucial to be cautious and consider if their attempts to reconnect are healthy or if they're just trying to keep the lines of communication open in case things aren't working out without you. Be mindful of the true intentions behind their actions and consider whether it's best for you to continue engaging with them or not.

4. Playing Hard to Get: When Your Ex Is Hot and Cold

Are you feeling the heat one moment and the freeze the next when it comes to your ex? If they reach out and seem excited to talk to you, only to disappear for days, it could be a sign that they're playing hard to get.

I thought we were good, but now they're ghosting me. What gives?,

you might be thinking.

It's important to remember that even though it's natural to want to reach out to your ex, it's best to let them initiate contact. If you seem too eager, it might make your ex second-guess their decision to reach out. And if you keep sending messages and getting no response, or a cold response, it might make you feel like you're being ignored.

But don't be discouraged, this hot and cold behavior could be a sign that your ex is responding to your use of the No Contact Rule. It's possible that they're feeling unsure about losing you or that you might be moving on. So, if you go back into no contact, there's a good chance they'll have a similar response.

Be mindful of these signs and remember that playing hard to get is just a game. If your ex truly wants to be with you, they'll make it known. And if they don't, it's time to move on.

5. Acting Out of Character: When Your Ex Behaves Differently

Another sign that your ex is pretending to be over you is if they're acting differently around you. They may try to act like nothing ever happened between you, or they may be extra nice to you. They may even try to act like they're not affected by the breakup.

They may even try to make small talk or try to act like they're still interested in your life. But, the truth is, they're just trying to keep the door open for a potential reconciliation. They're still holding on to hope that you'll get back together.

6. Guilt Trip: How Your Ex Tries to Make You Feel Responsible

Have you been feeling guilty about the breakup, even though it wasn't your fault? Your ex may be pretending to be over you but try to make you feel guilty about how the relationship ended. They may play the victim and try to make you feel like you're the one who broke their heart.

I can't believe you would do this to me. I gave you everything and this is how you repay me,

your ex accuses you as you run into each other at a mutual friend's party.

If they try to make you feel guilty about moving on or the way the relationship ended, it's a clear sign that they haven't been able to let go of you, and their heart is still with you. As C.S. Lewis said,

Anger is the fluid that love bleeds when it gets cut.

In these instances, consider your role in the lead-up to the breakup. If you made mistakes, take responsibility for them and apologize genuinely if appropriate. However, only do this if you truly did something wrong and not if you feel they are being manipulative. And, make sure to do it once, but in a sincere manner. At the same time, it's also important that they take responsibility for their own part in the demise of the relationship. A functioning relationship can only be rebuilt and rekindled if it's based on truth.

7. Inquiring Minds: When Your Ex Asks About You to Mutual Friends

Another sign that your ex isn't fully over you, is if they're still asking mutual friends about you. They may try to play it off like they're just being friendly or like they're just curious, but the truth is, they're still interested in you.

Hey, have you talked to John lately? I haven't seen him in a while and I was just wondering how he's doing,

your ex casually asks a mutual friend at a party.

They may try to gather information about you, like whether you're dating someone else or if you're still thinking about them. They want to know if you've moved on already or if you are still interested in getting back together.

8. Gossip Central: When Your Ex Talks About You to Others

Have you been hearing from mutual friends that your ex has been talking about you? This could be a sign that they're not really over you. They may talk about you in a positive light, making it seem like they still have feelings for you.

You know, I really miss Jane. We had such a great time together. I regret breaking up with her,

your ex confides in a good friend over drinks.

Have you noticed your ex talking ill of you to others? They might be trying to convince everyone, including themselves, that they're over you and that you're the one to blame for the failed relationship. But, don't be fooled. This negative talk could be a defense mechanism, a way for them to cope with the hurt they're feeling about how things ended. Deep down, they're still thinking about you and trying to make sense of their mixed emotions.

9. Social Media Surveillance: When Your Ex Stalks Your Online Presence

One of the most telling signs that your ex is not fully over you is if they're stalking you on social media. They may be creeping on your profile, checking out your pictures, and reading your posts. They may also try to provoke a reaction out of you by liking and viewing your stories, knowing full well that you'll take notice.

It's possible that they're uncertain about their feelings but for some reason they can't quite let go of you. Their online stalking behavior could be a sign that they're still holding on to hope that things could work out between the two of you. Be aware of this and take it into consideration when making decisions about the future of your relationship.

10. Left Behind: When Your Ex Leaves Behind Sentimental Possessions

Have you noticed your ex leaving behind possessions that hold sentimental or monetary value? This could be a sign that they're not as over you as they claim to be. They may be using the excuse of retrieving their belongings as an opportunity to reach out or see you. It's possible that they're keeping a connection to you through these possessions as a way to hold on to hope that things could work out between the two of you.

For example, if your ex leaves behind a few random socks, it's not a big deal. But if they leave behind nice clothing, an instrument, electronics, a collection, a pet, jewelry, or anything that holds significance to them, it's a red flag that they're not truly over the relationship.

In this case, the best strategy is to not bring up their belongings unless you absolutely have to (such as in the case of needing the space or moving). By not mentioning their possessions, you leave them in mystery about them and your feelings on the matter. This can create a sense of uncertainty for your ex and make them wonder if you've moved on or if they've lost their chance with you.

Remember, the power of mystery and uncertainty can work to your advantage in these situations. It's important to watch the video above for more information on this topic.

11. The Lone Remnant: When Your Ex Leaves One Photo of You On Social Media

As you scroll through your ex's social media, you notice that all the photos of the two of you have been removed. But, wait a minute, what's this? One photo remains. It's a small detail, but it speaks volumes.

Your ex may have tried to erase you from their history, but they couldn't bring themselves to get rid of that one photo. It's a sign that they're pretending to be over you, but deep down, they're still holding on to some hope.

It's important to remember that this is a subtle sign and it doesn't mean that your ex is ready to jump back into a relationship with you. However, it does show that they're still thinking about you and they're not quite ready to let go completely.

It's natural to feel a flicker of hope when you see that one photo, but it's important to resist the urge to reach out or stalk your ex on social media. The best thing you can do is to take this as a sign that they're not over you yet and to continue working on yourself during this time of no contact.

Let them wonder about you and your feelings, and let them see that you're moving on in a healthy way. As the saying goes,

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

12. Stuck in a Routine: The Sign Your Ex is Pretending to be Over You

Have you noticed that your ex's schedule hasn't changed a bit, even after the break-up? They still hit the gym at the same time, attend the early church service or are at the same coffee shop on the same day of the week. It's almost as if they're trying to send you a message, "hey, I'm still here and I know you're aware of my routine."

But why would they do this? The answer is simple: they want to keep the door open for a possible reconciliation. They want to make it known that you can still find them in the same places, just in case you change your mind and want to reach out.

It's crucial to remember that this is a tactic used by your ex to keep you interested and keep you on their radar. Don't fall for it. Showing up at these places, even "by accident," will only confirm to your ex that they still have a hold on you and that you haven't truly moved on. Stick to the No Contact Rule and let things unfold naturally. If they truly want to be with you, they'll make it known.

13. Regretful Remorse: When Your Ex Expresses Sorrow for the Breakup

One of the most clear-cut signs that your ex is pretending to be over you is if they express regret about the breakup. They may tell mutual friends that they made a mistake and that they wish they could take it back. They may also admit their mistakes that lead to the breakup and start to take responsibility for them.

At one point, they may even try to reach out to you and apologize for the way things ended. This is a very good sign, because they are being honest with themselves and with you. However, make sure, it's not just them trying to fill the void of loneliness, but that they are truly interested in you.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while it can be difficult to tell if your ex is truly over you or just pretending, there are some telltale signs that can give them away. From constantly trying to convince you that they're doing great and moving on, to stalking you on social media, or keeping a consistent schedule, these actions can often betray their true feelings. However, it's important to remember that none of these signs mean that you should reach out to your ex if you are currently in no contact.

As you navigate through the tricky waters of post-breakup emotions and actions, it's essential to keep in mind that, as the old adage goes, the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If you never hear from your ex again or if they genuinely don't care about you, then that's a clear sign that they are over you. Additionally, if they are in a new relationship and have blocked you so you can't see what's going on, it's best to try and move on.

Patience is a virtue, and in matters of the heart, it's a necessity. The road to reconciliation is not always a straight one, and it's important to remember that getting back together, just like moving on, can take some time. So, it pays off to be patient with your ex and with yourself. If you are currently in no contact, stick to it, and if you're not, consider initiating it. Remember, the No Contact Rule can be a powerful tool in making your ex miss you and want you back. But, as always, be sure to trust your gut and do what's best for you.